You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
