Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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