Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
