Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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