no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize