dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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