I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
