Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
