White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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