so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
