Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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