Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
