either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
