Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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