how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
