I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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