Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
