my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
