Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I will pee on everything he values.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
