So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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