I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she looked like the before picture.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
