she was so not down for the gang bang
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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