I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
