i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
