theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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