My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
