you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
