We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
