He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
