I must be too annoying 4 u.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
