none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
