Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I need a burrito and a hug.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
