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It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There r osticjed everywhere
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
