It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
