He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
