I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
