Yo dont text me then not text me
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
