we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
