I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
