your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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