Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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