I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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