let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
