how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
