is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
