Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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