We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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