Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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