I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
