I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
