forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
sex in a hospital.. check
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
