Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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