brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
