She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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