Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
