My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
