We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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