ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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