I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
