Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
