No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
