did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
