I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
