Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize