The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
