my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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