I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just googled if crying burns calories
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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