Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
