I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
